>Higher education: futureschlock

>Never let it be said that British universities aren’t innovative. I had to do a double take to check it wasn’t 1st April today when I saw the front page of this week’s Time’s Higher Education Supplement. Reports that a scientist is being punished for falsifying research findings about whether sheep can recognize each other (they can’t really) and a plan to train university cleaners as student counsellors, so they can deal with students’ emotional problems between hoovering the corridors halls of residence.

A pressing issue in the study of animal behaviour and an inventive form of pastoral care, I guess. Let’s hope personal tutors aren’t required to fill with the vacuum cleaner during quieter office hours. Suddenly, the suggestions for dystopian university futures we facetiously making in the break between exam boards last week – university staff in Man Utd or Tesco style uniforms emblazoned with sponsors logos or academics individually ‘privatized’ with CelebDaq (AcadDaq?) style ratings – don’t seem so far fetched.

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